


a billion stars in the sky; (but you're the brightest one)

by explaininfinity



Series: how rare and beautiful it is; (to even exist) [2]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, I'm Sorry, Jensoo if you squint, it was gonna be really fluffy and cute but then umm, this is super angsty, whoops?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-20 01:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17613086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explaininfinity/pseuds/explaininfinity
Summary: in which lisa's been in with love chaeyoung for a long timebut that doesn't make it any easier when she leavesaka the chaelisa future (disb*ndment)!au





	a billion stars in the sky; (but you're the brightest one)

 

 

"honey, i'm home!" lisa called jokingly as she entered their shared flat and promptly collapsed on the couch. she was met with soft laughter, a few small cats and the smell of dinner wafting from the kitchen. chaeyoung slid onto the other side of the sofa, lightly shoving lisa's feet off the chair to make room for herself to sit. she picked up one of the kittens, kissing the top of its head and making lisa smile. 

 

"how was today's evening session with the little terrors- i mean angels." chaeyoung asked, her smile growing as lisa scrunched her nose and leaned her head back, placing her feet back on chaeyoung's lap.

 

"one fake semi-adult and eighteen hyped up, dancing children is not a good ratio," lisa sighed exhaustedly while pinching her nose. chaeyoung laughed loudly and began massaging lisa's feet as the kitten in her arms climbed across her and into lisa's arms. "as always, it would have been much better if you were there," lisa finished slyly, her eyes raising from the kitten to look up at the woman in front of her, making chaeyoung roll her eyes and push the feet off of her lap.

 

"lisa, i have my own classes to teach. i mean, i'd gladly let you lead my early vocal sessions and then make dinner but we both know you aren't capable of even making instant ramen without burning yourself," chaeyoung teased as she stood up, offering a hand to the woman beside her.

 

"hey!" lisa complained as she accepted chaeyoung's hand, pulling herself up. "that was one time!" chaeyoung tilted her head, her eyebrows raising as they walked to the dining room, fingers interlaced. "okay maybe more than once, but i swear at least one of them was an oven malfunction!"

 

"sweetheart, you make noodles on a stove, not in an oven."

 

"really? well, that would explain it."

 

 

<<<

 

 

"do you want any more cake?" chaeyoung asked as she started bringing dishes back to the kitchen.

 

"you mean another piece of an admittedly delicious pile of sugar you made to distract me from the fact that i'm only a year away from hitting 30? no thank you," lisa called from behind her, their silverware in one hand, her other hand slipping the phone they had used to facetime their former members into her pocket.

 

"sweetie, you're only 29, relax." chaeyoung sighed, picking up their cups and rinsing them before placing them in their dishwasher.

 

"29 is practically 30! and 30 is close to 40 and that means i'm gonna die soon," lisa cried, causing chaeyoung to roll her eyes. "and anyways," lisa continued. "that's easy for you to say, you don't look a day over 37," lisa teased, pinching chaeyoung's cheek. "kidding?" lisa tried as chaeyoung gasped in shock, grabbing a handful of water and splashing it in lisa's face. lisa just smiled, grabbing a handtowel to dry her face and moving to perch on the counter next to chaeyoung as she worked. chaeyoung cocked an eyebrow at her in between rinsing two plates. when lisa made no intention to help, chaeyoung sighed in familiarity and continued loading the dishwasher.

 

"who would have thought i'd spend my 29th birthday teaching children?" lisa mused, swinging her legs back and forth, matching the soft jazz music chaeyoung always played while cooking and apparently had forgotten to turn off.

 

"i did." chaeyoung commented, humming as she finished loading their dinner dishes. lisa tilted her head quizzically, waiting for chaeyoung to finish washing her hands. as soon as she did, lisa held out her towel for chaeyoung to grab. when she did, lisa pulled the towel, earning a laugh from the other woman as she lightly guided chaeyoung's front against the counter as lisa sat on top of it, chaeyoung in between her arms

 

"what do you mean?" lisa asked as chaeyoung finished drying her hands, before placing the towel next to her and interlacing her hands behind lisa's neck as she considered an answer.

 

"lis, i've never seen anyone with as much passion for dancing as you. not to mention the fact that you adore kids, so i always kinda figured." chaeyoung admitted, her gaze falling short of lisa's, missing the soft smile that formed on her face.

 

"what about you, did you ever think you'd ever end up here?" lisa asked.

 

"what's up with this sentimental mood?" chaeyoung teased as she moved from the counter to hang up the towel still in her hands. lisa hopped off the counter, snaking an arm around chaeyoung's waist, turning her around. she laced her left hand with chaeyoung's, pulling her into a dance hold. chaeyoung looked up in surprise before laughing softly, relaxing into the rhythm of frank sinatra. "is this what 29-year-old lisa is going to be like? a softie?" she echoed.

 

"just answer the question chaeng," lisa asked as they continued swaying back and forth. chaeyoung's giggled died out as she tilted her head back, seriously considering the question.

 

"yes, and no," she started, finally raising her head back to meet lisa's gaze which encouraged her to go on. "it obviously had to be music related. and teaching the kids is definitely a plus, on most days, but i never thought i'd teach vocal lessons."

 

"why not?" lisa inquired as she twirled chaeyoung, earning a smile in return. she frowned at the lack of answer she received. "please don't tell me this is about you not thinking you're good enough for it again," lisa finished as she pulled the other woman even closer still, the sentence spoken mostly to the crown of her head as chaeyoung ducked into her shoulder.

 

"i can't help it." the response came after a long pause. it was so soft that if lisa hadn't been paying attention to every action chaeyoung made, she would've missed it.

 

but lisa was paying attention.

 

she was always paying attention when it came to chaeyoung.

 

"hey, look at me," lisa whispered, her hands moving to cup chaeyoung's face, tilting it toward her own. the broken look in her eyes shattered lisa's heart and in that moment, she knew she would do anything to fix it. "you are park chaeyoung, miss 1 in 700, hell, 1 in a 7,000,000,000 to me," chaeyoung smiled shyly and rolled her eyes, trying to hide from the compliments but lisa wasn't finished. her thumb graced across chaeyoung's cheek as she continued. "you are probably the most talented person i've ever met. i've never heard a singer that can tell a story quite like you. your students, and especially the academy, are lucky to have you." this time, chaeyoung succeeded at ducking away, digging her head into lisa's shoulder and toying her hand back into lisa's, beginning to sway to the music once again.

 

they stayed like that for a while, with only the soft hum of the dishwasher, the low melody of frank sinatra and the pressure of each other to accompany them.

 

"i miss them," came chaeyoung's soft reply, what seemed like hours later.

 

"i do too."

 

they remained there, dancing until suddenly, chaeyoung broke apart from lisa, grabbing her hand and dragging them to their apartment's balcony.

 

"look at the stars! they're shining so bright!" she gushed, all but leaning over the railing. lisa would probably have been more worried if chaeyoung didn't do this practically every day. the view from the balcony at night was half the reason they had chosen this apartment.

 

well, chaeyoung had chosen the apartment, and lisa could never really say no to her.

 

lisa took a quick look at the sky, then focused on the girl next to her.

 

"yeah, they are."

 

chaeyoung finally looked away from the stars, noticing that lisa was staring at her.

 

"what? do i have something on my face?" chaeyoung quickly began wiping at her mouth, making lisa laugh.

 

"no, no you're... fine." lisa smiled softly at her, almost shyly as she walked beside her, leaning on the balcony rail. words like magnificent, gorgeous, wonderful and radiant swarmed her brain but they remained unspoken. lisa stare though, stayed unwavering, making chaeyoung smile back in confusion.

 

"seriously! why are you staring at me like that?" chaeyoung repeated, a laugh upon her lips.

 

"nothing! it's just... nevermind." lisa smiled reassuringly until chaeyoung turned back to the sky. it probably should have worried lisa how many times they had the exact same conversation that has just transpired, all because lisa had felt the exact same feeling a thousand times, the overwhelming urge to kiss her best friend.

 

but she never did.

 

because chaeyoung was _her best friend._

 

and that's the thing about being in love with your best friend.

 

it's the easiest thing in the world and it's the most natural thing you've ever experienced.

 

because chaeyoung is the person lisa relies on most in the world, _of course_ , she would fall in love with her.

 

chaeyoung's been by her side for her best and worst moments, for lisa's highest highs and lowest lows. lisa's seen chaeyoung when she's wearing outfits more expensive than most people's paychecks and after hours of work went into her appearance. lisa's seen her gaze when she performs, the enticing way she flirts with the camera, making everyone watching fall to their knees. lisa knows the smile (gorgeous, of course, but tired) that chaeyoung puts on in interviews after she's been asked the exact same questions as she always gets. lisa can tell the exact moment the cameras become too much, when she wants to hide beside lisa and lisa lets her.

 

but lisa's also seen chaeyoung when she's in her favorite oversized sweatshirt, without makeup on. when her hair is in a messy bun on top of her head and her cheeks are puffed out, clutching a stuffed animal that was supposed to be lisa's but she's probably never getting back. lisa knows the way chaeyoung's eyes scrunch when her laugh is real and when her smile is natural because she's genuinely happy. lisa's seen her when she's humming along to songs to herself, playing with their cats and snuggled into lisa's side, not out of nervousness or fear but because she's comfortable.

 

but that's the other thing about being in love with your best friend.

 

it's also the most difficult thing in the universe and the unfamiliar thing you could ever do.

 

because chaeyoung is the person lisa relies on most in the world, what the fuck would lisa do if she wasn't there? if she didn't say yes? if she ran away?

 

sometimes, it seemed like they were kids again, the same teenagers that had debuted together. sometimes, it felt like nothing had ever changed, they had never won anything, never lost anything, never lost each other.

 

sometimes though, like right now, it really hit lisa. that they had _really_ disbanded. that jisoo and jennie _really_ didn't live with them anymore. of course, she was supportive of their solo projects, lisa never missed an episode of any of jisoo's dramas and bought a copy of jennie's magazine every month. she facetimed them as much as she could and visited their apartment whenever their schedules allowed (which wasn't often) but that never changed the fact that they weren't there when she got home.

 

but through all of it, all of the difficulties, the grueling years of training, the uncertainty of the years before and after their debut, through the months of waiting for comebacks that seemed like they'd never come, of recording songs that seemed like they'd never get released, _they_ never changed.

 

chaeyoung and lisa. lisa and chaeyoung.

 

always and forever.

 

and maybe that was for the best.

 

because lisa and chaeyoung was safe. chaeyoung and lisa were always there for each other. lisa and chaeyoung never changed.

 

lisa and chaeyoung meant a dinner to come home to, a smile to find waiting for her at the end of a long day. chaeyoung and lisa meant foot massages, kittens and a comfort in lisa's chest that no one else seemed to create.

 

that didn't mean lisa didn't _want_ things to change.

 

but change is a fickle thing. change could mean having everything lisa ever wanted.

 

but change could also mean chaeyoung leaving. and that was a risk lisa wasn't willing to take.

 

so lisa would settle for slow dancing to jazz music in their shared kitchen, interlaced fingers as they walked and cuddle sessions on their couch on lazy sundays. kisses pressed on cheeks and behind ears and on the crowns of heads, just never on lips. forced laughs after countless strangers called them an adorable couple together and students assumed they were secretly married after they sat in on a few too many of each other's sessions. she'd settle for the constant questions from jennie and jisoo about when she would ask chaeyoung out and ignore them whenever they insisted chaeyoung felt the same way.

 

sometimes, she'd allow herself to hope, to pretend and to slowly break her own heart.

 

but it was okay. lisa had given her heart away a long time ago and she had no intention of ever asking for it back. it didn't really belong to her anymore anyway.

 

lisa shifted, gazing up at the sky that had turned completely black by now, illuminated only by the billions of stars and planets, light years away. this time, it was chaeyoung's turn to look away from the sky. lisa's face was tensed and her eyebrows were close together, a definite sign that she was thinking too much. chaeyoung waited, allowing her best friend the time and space to think until rain started to fall, slowly at first, but then more and more, in heavier tides.

 

"hey, lice?" chaeyoung called, her voice shocking lisa out of whatever train of thought she had been venturing into. lisa's eyebrows instantly scrunched together again, first out of confusion. she raised a hand to the sky as if she hadn't even noticed the rain, soaking her. then, she turned, her face miming a look of mock anger instead of confusion. she lightly punched chaeyoung's arm, scrunching up her nose up too.

 

"i thought we agreed that that nickname died a long time ago."

 

"you did, i didn't," chaeyoung teased. "anyways, you're making your thinking face, what's up?"

 

"i wasn't aware i had a thinking face," came lisa's response, as she continued staring at the sky, a drizzly haze surrounding her.

 

"well, it doesn't show up often, so i make note of it when it does." lisa turned from the stars, her look of shock meeting chaeyoung's devious grin. "i'm sorry?" chaeyoung tried as lisa lept towards her, picking chaeyoung up from her former place beside her and lifting her over her shoulder. "so mean! who are you and what have you done with my angel park chaeyoung?" chaeyoung tried to answer but yelped as lisa began spinning them around before carrying her back into their apartment, resting her gently on their couch. lisa started to walk to her room to grab towels but before she could step away from the couch, a pair of hands curled around her waist, pulling her back into the couch. lisa raised an eyebrow in confusion as chaeyoung snuggled into her side, rolling herself into a ball and tucking her knees under her chin.

 

"i was just going to grab some towels, i wasn't going to disappear or anything," lisa whispered softly, as she lifted her hand around chaeyoung's shoulders.

 

"you're not allowed to go anywhere. i'm cold," chaeyoung murmured, burrowing herself into lisa's shoulder. lisa was used to nights like this, when chaeyoung was feeling a little more emotional. they would end up together, snuggled in chaeyoung's room. lisa would hum all the thai lullabies she remembered on repeat until chaeyoung fell asleep, in her arms.

 

those nights became more and more frequent until lisa found herself in chaeyoung's room regardless.

 

then she'd wake up and just like normal chaeyoung would be gone, breakfast waiting for her on the counter with a note. she'd gotten one practically every day for the last 3 years. she couldn't control the fact that chaeyoung's first lessons started death-o-clock in the morning any more that chaeyoung could control that her sessions usually lasted until god-knows-when at night. some weeks, especially in the beginning of their careers or whenever a group was nearing a comeback, they missed each other almost entirely, apart from wrinkled blankets, little notes tucked into purses or stuck to mirrors and plates of breakfast to reheat.

 

and that's how the lunch tradition began. lisa's trainees were certainly not opposed to being released from sessions early and chaeyoung's class loved being excused ahead of time due to their teacher's "not girlfriend" appearing at the door. they would eat the lunch lisa bought (because lord knows that lisa was not allowed to cook) together on the floor of chaeyoung's practice room.

 

when lisa had to stay extra late, chaeyoung would attempt to stay up to hear about lisa's day. more often than not, that resulted in chaeyoung falling asleep on the couch before lisa got home and lisa carrying her into her room. she would try to lay chaeyoung on her bed and leave, but sleepy night-chaeyoung was always clingy and pouty and sleepy night-lisa was always weak for her pouting. actually, every version of lisa was weak for chaeyoung pouting. lisa would try to wake up with chaeyoung but tired morning-lisa was also clingy and tired morning-chaeyoung was especially ticklish. _that_ had ended with chaeyoung being late on multiple occasions, featuring more than a few marks on her skin (because tired morning-lisa's a dumbass who kissed the love of her life when she shouldn't and didn't think her decisions through), not helping the stop the idea that all of their students seemed to have that they were together.

 

so the development of an agreement that chaeyoung wasn't allowed to wake lisa up in the mornings was created.

 

well, chaeyoung had made a plan, and, of course, lisa could never really say no to her.

 

so, more often then not now, lisa woke up to a cold bed that wasn't her own. she woke up to reheated breakfast, a sticky note on their bathroom mirror and an apartment that seemed a dozen degrees colder and deafeningly quiet without chaeyoung.

 

that was the ironic thing, lisa supposed. chaeyoung was always the one so worried about lisa disappearing, hanging on to her for dear life at every chance.

 

but, in the end, chaeyoung was always the one who vanished, and lisa was the one left with cold blankets and confusion.

 

but that's just how it was.

 

and that's how it would be.

 

 

 

chaeyoung and lisa.

 

 

 

lisa and chaeyoung.

 

 

 

safe.

 

 

 

always and forever.

**Author's Note:**

> again, sorry? it was supposed to be fluffy and i don't know what happened? but i hope y'all like it?
> 
> i love chaelisa and i'll try to write something softer and nicer in the future!
> 
> [update!] i wrote a jensoo oneshot that exists in the same universe? as this story so go check that out!


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